Advertisements

Self Image

Posted by Dell Sweet 07-05-2019

Good morning.
I am going with morning because technically, here in New York, it still is.

The Earth’s Survivors website and The Zombie Plagues website, as well as Geo’s own website now have free previews or direct links to free previews of the books available to you to read.

Or you can
click on the book link,

Earth’s
Survivors Book One: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YDAXFLE

Zombie Plague Book One: https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/25728

The following
blog stems from a conversation I had the other day with friends concerning
control, our situations, and how were see ourselves and the things in our lives
that we feel are out of or in our control either one. Dieting, relationships,
all of it. We were mainly discussing dieting and it just branched out into
other areas of our lives. As writers we tend to spend a great deal of time
sitting on our duffs… Well, Writing. It’s kind of hard to put exercise
in there throughout the day. Write a chapter, exercise, write a chapter, exercise.
It just doesn’t work that way. It is more like: Write like a crazy man (or
woman) while the material is there. Sit there all day and eat there too
if you can get away with it. My top three friends are full time writers as I am
and so they can and do get away with that the same as I do.

The bad part
of that is obvious. No exercise, bad eating habits. Too much other stuff to
even list. It’s just plain unhealthy. So we discussed what we do to make sure
we stay healthy. To change things up so that exercise has a place in our daily
schedules. I will keep this blog on my own life, solutions, things I have done
to make me healthier.

We stuck as
closely as we could to dieting, because all of us in the discussion, male and
female alike, seem to have reason to struggle with that and believe that the
answers to feeling good about diet and the results we obtain from it are not
totally in our control. It was a good conversation.

I have been
overweight and dealt with the results of that as it acted upon my body. There
were times when I did not believe I had the control to do anything about it at
all, and then a time where I realized I did have control, could direct a path
that would lead me away from that situation. I followed it and it worked. It
also confirmed to me that we have much more control of our lives than we think
we do. We simply allow situations or even people to take that control away from
us, or we give that control to the person or situation without even thinking
about the fact we are doing that.

I have found
that the best way to begin to put control back into the things you do is to
just do it. I know that sounds like I am making a joke of it, making it sound
easy to do, but I am not. What I am saying is that it is often our own fault
that we don’t make changes and allow the circumstances we are in to become our
prison, and to hold and control us.

I think the
first thing to do is determine exactly what the problem is. Sometimes it isn’t
so straight forward as it seems. You might say … “Well, I want to lose weight.”
That’s it. Nothing more, but that is not really the problem itself, it is more
like a solution to some other problem. Some other underlying thing that has you
upset or depressed enough to start looking for solutions that may or may not
solve the problem.

There are
reasons to lose weight. Reasons that are serious and shouldn’t be ignored. As a
nation we are overweight, we all know that, read or hear about it almost daily
in social and news media. Heart Disease, Diabetes and a host of other medical
problems are waiting to kick the crap out of our bodies if we don’t get them
into shape. And if the reason you are going to lose weight is right there then
you need to start reinforcing it in your head. You need to remind yourself
daily that being overweight could kill you. Take you away from those that you
love. That should be a strong motivator, but it isn’t always. And it isn’t
always because very often the reasons behind wanting to lose weight have
nothing at all to do with needing to lose weight.

Where does it
come from: Weight gain is genetic to a degree, and evolutionary and biological
on the other side. Social pressure also comes into play.

Genetics:
Sometimes, for some people, there is a gap between what they eat; someone else
eats, and how that weight ends up on their body and doesn’t seem to on the
other person. But maybe that simply isn’t true. In other words, for men and
women, self worth is tied up in the way we view ourselves. Maybe to you I don’t
look bad at all, but to me I’m a mess. Too heavy. Unattractive, the list begins
and goes from there.

The problem is
that all of those pronouncements we make on ourselves and our bodies gets tied
up in the judgments we are making about ourselves, our self worth. It isn’t
necessarily true at all. It may be you could weigh yourself and that other
person, who seems to be having an easier time than you are, and find there is
no difference, maybe you would find there is. Whatever you do find, there are
ways to deal with it. For some genetics may play a role. For some it is a
simple matter of firing up their metabolism, eating less, being more active,
but the fact that we tie it all up with our self worth makes it nearly
impossible to get to the truth of it.

Evolution: I
will say first that I am a christian, I am not knocking God or anything else,
and I realize that evolution doesn’t exist for some people. Something some
scientific types made up. So possibly you may want to take a different view of
it. Let’s call it pre-history. When you read the old testament you read about
people living in caves. Being nomadic. They certainly didn’t have a 7 11 down
the road or a supermarket. We lived a different kind of life. And because of
that our bodies developed the ability to store fat for long periods of time and
then release it when we needed it. That worked pretty well. There were no super
models or social pressures working at us to be skinny. I can not imagine a Cave
Woman getting up and saying … “Damn, Trog! Does my butt look too big?” I’m sure
she could have cared less and I’m sure Trog could have cared less. So we have
this evolutionary thing. We store fat because our bodies think we may need it.
Maybe in a few thousand years, if the human race lasts that long, we will breed
that right out of ourselves. Of course if we did and then some worldwide
catastrophe occurred we would be done for. So maybe we won’t lose that ability.
Either way it is there. It’s a biological fact, and we have to acknowledge it
as such.

Social: This
is where it gets tricky. Are you fat? Or is someone making you feel like you
are fat? Good question. Sometimes people make us feel that way because they
want to put us in a perfect little mold that they created for us. It has
nothing at all to do with us, it has to do with their own unhappiness.
Unfortunately for us that makes little difference. It hurts us and we react by
saying we will get with the program and make ourselves into that person that
this other person wants us to be. Never mind what we think. That isn’t
important. Look at TV, the internet. Look at all the skinny women and muscled
men! That must be the way it is supposed to be.

Bull. It is
something we tell ourselves and we even get to a place where we believe it is
our own idea to look a certain way, and completely forget we are being
manipulated by society or even our own loved ones. You are the only one that
can look at this critically and make a decision about what you are doing or
why. I would just say be honest with yourselves.

The problem
with this societal pressure is that it gets completely tied up with our self
worth, and that is also evolutionary. I suppose that the first person with blue
eyes must have been looked at strangely. Or blonde hair. But if you turn on
your television and look at a movie from the seventies, or sixties you will see
women that had little bellies. What? My God! How could they! And the men were
not all cut up and heavily muscled either. That is what society was given as
the model for man and woman. And that was that. Now you have Super Models who have
about a 4 percent body fat content and therefore no belly, no hips, no large
butt, and they look great in those designer jeans, and pretty soon the youth of
society decides that is the look right there.

And that’s
great when you are 15 or 19 or even into your very early 20’s but there comes a
time where your body changes and in order to keep that look you will either
have to become a gym rat or slip into some bad stuff to maintain that look.
Bulimia, Anorexia, drug use, or maybe you will just sink into a deep depression
and stay there. To Hell with the world I can’t be what they want so I quit.

And of course
that is the problem. The real problem. Are you fat? Or are you trying to be
what you think societies idea of what you should be is?

Losing weight:
The fact is that if you eat less calories than what you burn you will
lose weight. If you do some sort of exercise every day that will burn
calories. Those two things are absolutes and do not change or bend to social
pressure. So make sure you are doing this for the right reasons and then go
from there. Set up a daily exercise routine. It doesn’t have to be complicated,
or long, it only needs to be something you do on a daily basis. I would aim for
a half hour at first just to get you started. What that will do is two things.
First it will kick start your metabolism. That is a big deal because that will
determine what your body needs for calories, and you want that number to be
high. The second thing this will do is what all physical exercise does, release
endorphins.

Endorphins are
designed to make you feel good. It is your bodies own little reward for doing
well. It can help your mental attitude, change your physiology and help you to
start to look at things differently. I have done this myself and it makes a
huge difference in the first few weeks. It doesn’t immediately kick the weight
loss into gear, but that does come along on its own.

Be Reasonable:
Come back to self worth. How much is for you and how much is for that guy or
girl that is unhappy with the way you are? Or is it just some unreasonable idea
you have built in your mind and come to believe that you must attain? In my
experience it is some of each. There is social pressure and even pressure from
your significant other or even friends that are close to you. Society, or our
own wishes sometime put us in these boxes and it is tough to get out of that.
So be reasonable and have an honest conversation with yourself. Am I doing this
because I want to? Or because I need to? Or am I pretty much happy with myself
and others are making me feel as though I need to do this? Are you beautiful?
When you think of yourself is that what you think or do you think you are ugly?
You might be surprised at the answer, and not just women, but also men. We have
our own warped view of what we are and how we stack up too.

I had a
straight forward conversation with myself many years ago. This is what I
decided:

One:  I am not the greatest looking man in the
world but I’m not the worse. There is nothing I can do that will be lasting to
attract a woman to me. Sure, I can change the way I dress, adjust my work
schedule, smile more, yes, and even lose weight, become someone I am
uncomfortable with and maybe that will attract more women to me. But I can not
sustain it, so I should not entertain it because it will put too much pressure
on me. Besides, do I really want to be with someone that is strictly interested
in looks? Do I want to play that game? Share my life with someone I am really
not compatible with at all? No.

Two: What do I
really want? What is it that will make me happy in a partner? Should they be
involved in the same social things I am involved in? Church? Bowling? Macrame?
Writing? Yes. Incompatibility is something that I also can not sustain. It
doesn’t mean we have to match in every area, but we should have enough
interests in common so that we can compromise on the things that remain.

Three: Do I
need a partner? Do I need someone that tells me how I should look? Act? What I
should wear? What I should feel? How much I should weigh? And maybe they don’t
say these things with their words, maybe they only say them with their actions.
I decided no. I don’t need that. I need someone that supports and encourages
me.

Four: What
does this have to do with losing weight? Dieting? … Everything. It comes right
back to self worth. And maybe you are putting these pressures on yourself.
Maybe your partner/friends are happy with you the way you are. Maybe it is you
that has an unhealthy image of what you should be. But I would bet that image
was begun and fostered by the way men and women in your life treated you and
the supposed societal norms you saw on TV.

That brings me
full circle. Self worth. Love yourself and who you are. That isn’t just words.
If you can do that it really doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say about
it at all. You can allow that negativity to skip right over your head. It
becomes meaningless. You cause it to lose its power, and that means you have
that power now. So sit down and have that conversation with yourself. Take it
from there.

From There:
Set aside that time every day that you need for you. Maybe it is first thing in
the morning, maybe last thing at night. I chose first thing in the morning
because as a writer the day may take me anywhere. The first part of the morning
is still somewhat under my control. I get up and I have an hour set aside for
me. Half of that is Oh My God I need some Coffee, and the Other half is Okay,
I’m awake let’s get some exercise in
.

That amounts
to whatever I want it to amount to. There was a time where I did intense
workouts every day, twice a day, and I am heading back toward that. But for the
last few years I have set an easier pace

There is no
one in my life so I do what I do for me, and I would suggest that is the best
approach. I would suggest that because people can let you down. Sometimes
purposely, sometimes not, but a let down is a let down and if you have your
self worth and getting better tied up in another person that is a bad idea. Tie
it up in you, YOU be responsible for you and what you want. Set goals. Be
realistic, but do it for you.

For me I set
that hour aside. Today it might be an hour of cardio, tomorrow it might be a
walk. Both are good, both are beneficial to you and sufficient. A start of
talking a walk every morning until you can do more is fine. It helps to fire up
that metabolism, it burns calories, and it is very beneficial to your health,
both physical and mental.

If you have
children it may be tough to get time, but if you have someone in your life that
is a true partner and helper for you, you should be able to ask for that time
and get it. After all, parenthood is no longer just a woman’s job.

If you can not
get the time that way, take it later at night. That might seem counter
productive, spending even more time running around, but exercise rids your body
of many toxins, releases endorphins as we discussed, so it will have its
benefits for you.

I guess that
is it for my point of view. Start somewhere. Eat right. Take at look at your
reasons and then sit down and have that honest talk with yourself. I think you
can attain your goals if you truly want them. But better yet, I think you can
maintain them if you have put the work into you and know your true
motivations…

What else is
going on here? As you can see the Zombie Plague books were
moved to Kindle. That was the last holdout on any front. Everything is now
available on Kindle and the writing schedule is narrowing down to the next
projects.

The next
projects: That is a good question. Instead of doing things the way they have
been done here at i for the last few years, we have decided to react to sales
and demand rather than go with what has been voted on by staff and is therefore
next in line. Whatever that will be it will not be voted on by staff, but will
be from suggestions from readers and users of i.

Whatever that
turns out to be I will be the writer, Geo will be focusing on his own projects.
It seems like a much more logical approach. What remains on my burner right now
is Hurricane.
That book is very close to finished now, and will be finished up coming into
fall. The winter schedule is now open for me. The only other thing I see being
published in the interim might be the original Earth’s Survivors book. That is
the first book written thirty years ago that started the series. It bears
little on the series published now, but it is still a good book in its own
right.

Free Books
today:

Earth’s
Survivors Apocalypse:

U.S. Link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YDAXFLE

U.K. Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00YDAXFLE

BOOK LINKS

The Zombie
Killers: Origins:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/412524

The Great
Go-Cart Race:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/362984

The
Borderline:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/487747

That’s it for
this Friday. I hope today finds you well and I will return next week, Geo…

Advertisements
Total Page Visits: 59 - Today Page Visits: 2